Saturday, February 18, 2012

Sometimes the baggage you cut is op's.

Greetings Travelers of the Road of Life.

I had to let someone go their own way today.  Even removed them from one of my circles.

You could learn from the following true story.

It's hard enough to steer your own ship toward the horizon of fame.  I have a different definition of it than others, and I have the DNA of it.

I met someone who was a great candidate for my fame consultancy, and was willing to work for for free because they had once had some significant stature in their domain in our culture, and I felt it was more important to be of service than about sales.  This was a rare talent in a challenged domain worth preserving in culture.

This individual, an accomplished master of their chosen art, had taken some pretty good hits in life recently, and simply put, had lost a lot.  But not so much they could not put on a comeback, and then some.  In fact, when I did my analysis of the potentials, I saw greater fame the second time around, and, I was sure the prosperity was going to be there also.  You got to be willing to invest in people.

I look for the values in people that are not necessarily measured in materialistic terms, and gave this person my support, good will, energy and strategy for getting back up on the horse and getting back to what we all want to do in the creative culture business, make a living off our creativity.

I saw this in this person more than they saw it in themselves, because that is what the hits in life had done for their self image and personal esteem.

Nonetheless, I spent weeks giving perspective when others were assaulting their integrity, fairness and relationships.  I gave hope when fear crept too frequently into their eyes.  I gave strength when weakness overpowered determination and most of all, I gave them new meaning when there seemed to be none left anymore.

The LC knows how to be in someone's corner.   But you can lead a horse to water.

Just when I thought my hard work had gotten through, and they were not going to lapse into the dysfunctional pattern preventing them from achieving both meaning and fame their whole life so many times before, even when there were millions of reasons why the case would be otherwise, I was made the fool.

I'll admit it, I was played.  I own me.

Feeling we had come around the bend of it all, and they were ready to look at and commit to a creative strategy anew, I took this person out to dinner.  I showed them a good time, listening until they stopped complaining.  I gave (much that it does anybody any good anyway) them food for thought reinforcing weeks of strategic bolstering because one plans their way out of a pickle in life or art, not cry yourself a river to slide downhill on.  That gets you nothing but an audience of hecklers and bad reviews.

I told them my best stories and the peals of laughter coming from them rang out across the throng in the big eatery near the water and other people walked by with approving smiles.  I was making this person's night to vault them over the edge of the black, black days they had been walking through, and I thought I had almost gotten them out of that space.

What a fool I was.  I should have realized this person, like many creators, are in love with dysfunction because it is somehow a justification of failure and legitimizes invalidating success.  I have known many talented people with this affliction on the way up.  It's a fool's view, too, not that I had much room to speak.

Finally, after the check had come, and the vibe was right, this person made a choice to metaphorically throw cold water in the face of all the good I was attempting to do for them, and in addition, acted in crass, callous terms, bringing the evening to a swift and sad and pathetic (for them) ending, making it pretty clear to me they were not interested in being part of art, community and technology, three of the threads of the modern definition of fame.

I realized after I had gotten them safely to their car they never wanted my help.  They were in love with their misery.  No amount of support or strategy was going to help them.  They had given up.  They were going home to die on the inside, the place people go when dying on the outside begins.  I just could not help them anymore, and I wished I'd seen sooner they could not be helped at all.

I realized I'd been wasting my time and energy and commitment to creator care.  This person had just been keeping things going for their own vanity and need to have someone supportive during a transition when they were despised by all who did not make their dreams come true for them, something you know nobody can ever do for you.

I had served my hidden agenda purpose to them.  Now that they had gotten what they wanted, which was just an emotional crutch to get them through a rough patch and they were past it, they had no more use for me.

So they made it public and embarrassing, like the firing scene in Jerry Maguire. 

I'm onstage a lot as a comic, embarrassment is an old friend and often an inspiration.  Water off a duck's back and all that.

But this friend, as they called themselves, they went over the line, they showed they were not a friend, but someone who had been using my positivism as a crutch to make it through all the hell other people representatively had been giving them.

And that's all I was to them.  Nothing more.  I had given them trust, and confidence and all the other things that go along with that, and never one negative.

This is a clear case of falsified authenticity, imo.  

Well, there was only one thing to do, and that was to cut them loose.  They now no longer have the privilege of association with me, and I had to delete them from my google circle.

Because one thing a leader knows they must to if they are truly to be a leader of their tribe, is to know when to make an example of someone who simply refuses to align values because they are hiding an agenda behind deceptive goals.

One does what all of us in Hollywood know what to do, you know when to kiss and when to kick.

It's kick time.

There is a saying from the 36 Rules of Creativity, "Never try to sell a meteor to a dinosaur."

You can't crutch fame, and you gotta cut your baggage.

Learn from the LC so you don't suffer fools yourself.

Next time,

The Lone Comic
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